Source of Strength

The story I’m about to share here is not particularly riveting or exciting, but it is the story of a faithful and loving God who graciously and mercifully kept me near to his heart, in spite of myself.

As an infant up for adoption, God chose for me parents who loved Him and were committed to raising my sister and I to know and love Him as well. We attended church regularly and I accepted Jesus as my Lord and Savior at three yrs of age.

As a young child, I had a great desire to share God's love with everyone. I had dreams of one day becoming a missionary and serving God overseas. I had no idea then just how blessed I was to have parents who love the Lord or to have grown up in a church with sound Biblical doctrine. I took so much for granted.

As I grew, I began to flounder, becoming more uncertain about life. Wondering what life would have been like for me had I not been adopted. I eventually rebelled against God and the life my parents wanted for me. My actions and behaviors were far from anything godly. I believe now that my mother's prayers were very likely what caused God to preserve and protect my life the way He did. There is no other explanation for why I have not had to suffer terrible lifelong consequences for the activities I was involved in during this time. Regardless of how far I wandered from God's will, the knowledge of who He was and what He had done for me in sending His Son to die in my place because of the sins I had committed, never left me and were always a present, nagging thought in the back of my mind.

I knew something needed to give; I couldn’t stand the conflict between what I knew God wanted for me and how I was living. I was too scared to let go and venture into a new life with Him on my own though. I tried convincing my friends to believe in God. I thought maybe, if they came on the journey with me, it would be easier.  Sadly nothing about my life at that time could have caused anyone to want to know the God I claimed to know. My heart grieves now at the damage I did to His name.   I finally decided to attend a small Bible school in Montana. I’m not sure what I thought I was getting into but I knew it was where I needed to be.

Oh the poor staff and students there...I made everyone around me quite miserable when I first arrived! The conflict within me only grew as I tried hard to hold onto the life I’d been living while my soul longed to return to a relationship with a Holy God. One day, a conversation with one of the students helped me to see that my belief of God’s existence was not the same as believing IN God and trusting Him as Lord and Savior. I finally realized the only way to end my inner turmoil was to let go of the sin I’d been clinging to and cling instead to God. No one could do this for me or with me; it was a choice that only I could make. The faith of my parents could not sustain me or make the relationship real for me; it had to be my very own.

The years since then have brought me closer and closer to God.  I love Him with all my heart, although I continue to be a work in progress. He has never let go of me and His providential hand in my life is nothing less than miraculous. He truly is my only Source of Strength. My greatest prayer for all who read this blog is that God would be glorified. I want to share with you my failures and God's successes so that you can see His grace at work.  I want more than anything for every single person who reads this to have their own relationship with Him, to know Him as Lord and Savior.  If you are reading this and you do not know him, please don’t let another minute go by without surrendering yourself to him. He loves you beyond measure.

God is a Holy God! His character cannot allow for ANY sin to be in His presence. In order for us to be in a relationship with Him now or in eternity, restitution must be paid for our sin.  He wants a relationship with us so badly that he paid this price Himself.  He gave His only Son, who has eternally existed as God with the Father to pay the price of our sin for us. 

Rom 3:23 For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

Rom 6:23 For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ
 Jesus our Lord.

2Co 5:21  For our sake He made Him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in Him we might become the righteousness of God.  

Now that I am a mother, I appreciate even more the depth of this love. I would gladly give my own life for my children and I think with God's help I may even be able to give my own life for a stranger, especially if I knew that stranger would enter eternity without having accepted God’s salvation. However I could never give my child’s life for someone else. God did though! 

Rom 5:7-8  For one will scarcely die for a righteous person--though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die-- but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 
Please accept Gods gift, it is completely free and the greatest gift you will ever receive!

1 comment:

  1. Totally believe that God chose us to parent Olivia and I'm trusting Him to watch over and "keep" her ... thanks for sharing this ... it gives me hope, for her and her future with our Lord.